brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize