Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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