Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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