yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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