He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
