shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
