woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize