I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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