Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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