I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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