bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
