Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
