You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
