I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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