Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My pussy is not your playground.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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