my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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