So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
