I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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