my soul wont recognize me after tonight
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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