so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
