Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
