I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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