Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize