thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
the liver wants what the liver wants
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
