I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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