And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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