No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
