Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
