she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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