apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i need some magic done to my vagina
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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