I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
