It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
