the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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