have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
