well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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