i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
