Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
