So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
