Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
