I just saw a hot homeless man
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
