I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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