just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
