dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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