Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
