For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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