trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
