you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
