If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
