You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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