I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
