oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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