Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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