the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
