I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
