Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize