Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the condom got lost in my hair
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
