If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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