Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
