may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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