You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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