It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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