He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
